Well... It happened. I had to stop breastfeeding the little man. My goal was to make it until he was a year old. Not because of any health benefits (mostly) it was because I'm extremely cheap. The thought of having to buy formula makes my wallet cringe. I was really suprised with how easy it was when Wilson first was born. We went through some rough patches but I continued to pump when he wouldn't nurse and we got through them. But then I started drying up my last couple of weeks of working because I was so stressed out, and Wilson wasn't getting much milk so he was always fussy and hungry. There are only so many late night breakdowns before it just wasn't worth it anymore.
I feel guilty about it. I feel REALLY guilty because part of me thinks that if I would have just tried a little harder and pumped more often I could have gotten it back. But those last couple of weeks at the office and then an immediate trip out to DC made it not worth the stress. I thought about taking my pump with me on the vacation, but how awkward would that have been.
"I'm just going to go behind the Lincoln Memorial to pump real quick. Don't wait up"
I also feel really guilty making Wilson a formula bottle out in public. Mainly because I feel like people are judging me like I was judging them. (I never said I was particularly proud of it).
This whole thing was inevitable though. I was so judgmental about the whole nursing/formula thing that this is Gods way of teaching me a lesson. I got it... lessoned learned.... Kind of. Hopefully my next kid will latch just as easily and because I'm not working I'll last longer.
AND - The beginning of the new one:
I have entered into the realm of cloth diapering. Who guessed it would ever happen? Certainly not me or my family. I bought a complete set two weeks ago but I've just started using them because (1) you have to wash them SIX times before they start absorbing properly (wha?), and (2) I didn't want to start this endeavor while I was in DC. So It's been one day. I haven't cleaned poop yet, but I'm confident that it won't be that big of a deal and that I can handle it. yes?
5 comments:
Uhh wow I feel your pain. I also have to do formula in addition to breastmilk. I feel HORIBBLY guilty when I make a bottle! Why? What does it matter as long as my kid is getting food? This lead to more stressing out and less breastmilk. It's physchological horror!!
i get so annoyed at people who are judgy about breastfeeding or not. I didnt have enough milk to feed a newborn, which people would always tell me things to do to get more milk. Its all lies to me, nothing helped. I stopped at 2 months cause I would nurse, then make a bottle the same feeding, it was so annoying. Formula is fine, its 100x better than it was a few years ago. The kirkland kind at costco is cheap, and good stuff by the way!
Seriously Lacee, let go of the guilt. You gave it your best shot. Wilson can still grow up to be a well-adjusted, healthy, intelligent kid who might even be future leader of the free world. (Will there even be a "free world" that far in the future? That is far more worrisome than his termination at the breast, btw.)
Dude, you MUST tell me how the diapering goes. I have toyed with the idea and it seems silly to think about it 3 kids in, but hey ya gotta starts somewhere.
6 months of breastfeeding is awesome. Don't worry about formula. Most of us were raised on it. Let people judge, they suck anyway.
Post a Comment