What to do when you're OCD

I've been up since three this morning... It's now 6:10am. Why you ask? Well, mostly because Wilson woke up to eat. But then when I tried to go back to bed my mind wouldn't shut off. Now that I'm not working I've been struggling to get my days organized and together. I've spent most of my time just sitting on the couch watching TV and playing with Wilson. This is less than conducive to a clean, tidy house. My mind just kept going over and over all the crap that I need to get done. So what do you do when your mind won't shut off? Make lists. So that's just what I've been doing for the last couple of hours.

I LOVE excel spreadsheets. I love making them, I love looking at them, I love the sense of accomplishment I get when I've completed one. Because I make REALLY good ones. I promise. I also love checking things off lists... I'm OCD in the strangest ways because it's only in certain aspects of my life. Certainly not cleanliness. Just ask my family.

The above is a sample of my latest and greatest feat. I love it. Now I just need to live it. I divided the chores up by things I need to get done on a daily/weekly/quarterly basis. Each day only has two chores on it so I don't get overwhelmed. The yellow days are my days of rest, and the green days are those that I have to go into work. (I know I said I was done, but they still need me occasionally. Okay, even that's a lie. They need me everyday for some little thing.) So today is the Wednesday of week 20 so all I have to do is one load of laundry and clean the 'guest' bathroom. The goal is to get the chores done before 10am so I can go do other things the rest of the day.

And now I hear Wilson stirring in his room, so I'm going to go cuddle with him. I'm creating a monster and I don't even care...

Stories with Pictures

On Saturday I was trying to get the house clean but Wilson was being especially clingy so I had to put him in the Bjiorn. I found it exceptionally difficult to do the dishes while he was strapped on to me so Ryan offered to take him while he mowed the lawn. So while still in his PJ's and a unmatching hat, Wilson enjoyed the outdoors with Dad....

Ryan has really pretty green eyes. Apparently I'd never told him that in 4 years of knowing him so one day he came home from work and said that a co-worker of his told him they were gorgeous. I guess he was really sad that I hadn't recognized that fact. Another side note.... after being married a year Ryan decided to test me and asked what color eyes he had. I had no idea. I guessed blue. I was wrong. In my defense, I look at mouths when I'm talking to people not eyes. So you can all now be self conscious of your teeth.

I have control issues. One reason their are very few pictures of me is because I don't trust people (read: Ryan) to take good ones. They always fill the frame too much with crap and basically don't compose the picture in a pleasing way to me. I decided to relinquish control and get at least one photo of me with my baby. This is the result:

Wilson looks drunk. I think it's adorable.

The End of an Era and the Start of a New One

Well... It happened. I had to stop breastfeeding the little man. My goal was to make it until he was a year old. Not because of any health benefits (mostly) it was because I'm extremely cheap. The thought of having to buy formula makes my wallet cringe. I was really suprised with how easy it was when Wilson first was born. We went through some rough patches but I continued to pump when he wouldn't nurse and we got through them. But then I started drying up my last couple of weeks of working because I was so stressed out, and Wilson wasn't getting much milk so he was always fussy and hungry. There are only so many late night breakdowns before it just wasn't worth it anymore.

I feel guilty about it. I feel REALLY guilty because part of me thinks that if I would have just tried a little harder and pumped more often I could have gotten it back. But those last couple of weeks at the office and then an immediate trip out to DC made it not worth the stress. I thought about taking my pump with me on the vacation, but how awkward would that have been.

"I'm just going to go behind the Lincoln Memorial to pump real quick. Don't wait up"

I also feel really guilty making Wilson a formula bottle out in public. Mainly because I feel like people are judging me like I was judging them. (I never said I was particularly proud of it).

This whole thing was inevitable though. I was so judgmental about the whole nursing/formula thing that this is Gods way of teaching me a lesson. I got it... lessoned learned.... Kind of. Hopefully my next kid will latch just as easily and because I'm not working I'll last longer.

AND - The beginning of the new one:

I have entered into the realm of cloth diapering. Who guessed it would ever happen? Certainly not me or my family. I bought a complete set two weeks ago but I've just started using them because (1) you have to wash them SIX times before they start absorbing properly (wha?), and (2) I didn't want to start this endeavor while I was in DC.

So It's been one day. I haven't cleaned poop yet, but I'm confident that it won't be that big of a deal and that I can handle it. yes?

Grand ole' Flag

I took the trek to Washington DC this last week to see my dear brother graduate from dental school. It was... an adventure. Wilson didn't like the fact that there was no down time so he was pretty fussy the first couple of days. The first day we explored the Mall and went to a couple of museums. Day two consisted of going to Howard and watching Dallas walk and receive his diploma. The third day was Mount Vernon and the last day was spent at Arlington Cemetery.

I didn't feel like taking my 'real' camera so I just took pictures with my supa cool Hipstamatic. These pictures turned out way cooler than any I could have taken with the Canon so I'll count my lucky iPhone stars.

Phoblography

A friend of mine knows that I love taking pictures so she asked me to take some of her daughter that's graduating this year. I was a little intimidated, I admit. I've never taken portraits before, but I knew the perfect place for some great shots. I've been wanting to take pictures at this abandoned house by my neighborhood for a while. Thanks for giving me an excuse Amy!!

This was my favorite shot of them all... although I doubt it will work for what Amy wants it for. I just love the colors and composition. And especially the sun rays that show up in the pictures.

Love, Love, Love.

I didn't want to overload the blog with pictures, so I had to choose a couple that I really liked as options for Peyton to send in her graduation announcements....

And these last two were just some editing that I did. I don't have a fancy program to do it with so my options are limited.

I gotta say, the whole process was pretty awkward. I had no idea how to ask Peyton to pose or stand. She was asking me for direction and all I could say was "uhh, sit over there?" I'm glad I had my friend Maria there to point out some great spots for pictures!!

Not Sure He Was Ready

Little man has been an eating terror lately... He has decided that sometimes he doesn't want to be nursed so it forces me to pump half the time. I don't know if I can handle doing that too much longer. He also seems hungrier at night and FLIPS out when we try to put him to bed. I wanted to try giving him some cereal to see if that would help anything.

So I first tried last night... that was awful. He couldn't get it in his mouth fast enough so he was just getting too frustrated. I was so stressed out that I couldn't even get any pictures.

Tonight went MUCH better because he actually nursed before so he wasn't as hungry. Well, it was so runny that it was getting all over him... he was trying to eat the bowl again... and then he threw up everything. EVERYTHING. (as evidence from the puddle next to the Bumbo).

Probably a bad idea

I had to drive to downtown today to pick something up (upcoming post) and I decided to use my new iPhone app and take some pictures. I probably shouldn't have been driving while taking these, but it happened and I love them.

This just goes to show that with the right editing you can make any picture look cool. Man, I need some good editing software.